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beginning 2009 by blacking out

Happy new years everyone! I'm planning on writing a looking back entry, since 2008 was quite a tumultuous year. I'm having good feelings about 09 so see what happens.

Anyways, new years eve began with working at the bank. I had to wake up at 6 since I stayed in laconia the night before. Weather was fine until I hit the tolls and then it started to snow. And continue that way until late afternoon. I tried to get my car inspected but all the places were closing down bc of the snow. Have to wait until saturday so for now I'm a giant red flag when I drive.

Original plan was to go to heather and kevins housewarming and then shoot up to sarahs. But with the roads and lack of inspection I ended up not making it to sarahs. Which sucked in a way bc I miss those people :(

Got to heather and kevins, where over a hundred dollars in liquor was made available to the guests. I of course took advantage of that! Mostly played rock band and hung out. Kevin was drinking out of a massive margarita glass and ended up getting ill towards the end of the night.

When I woke up at 8 the next morning I had thought I fell asleep at 1030 and missed everything. Wrong! I made it to past the ball drop and was apparently texting throughout the night. I have no recollection of it but it seems I at least didn't make an ass out of myself at least.
Scheduled to work noon-730 but I was overly exhausted so they let me go at 330 so just went home and slept for a few hours.

So not much to report on my evening, but enjoyed myself regardless. Hope that everyone else enjoyed themselves as well.

happiness is not a fish that u can catch

I'm trying this from my phone for the first time. It was hard enough trying to get to this point since the navigations weird.

But anyways, a little over a month ago I hit a very dark place in my life. It had seemed like everything had come to a halt and I was just unable to cope with my overemotional being. I chose to cut someone out of my life which did aid in my healing process and sought professional help.

I was slowly getting better but everything came to a complete woah after my trip out to colorado. I have no idea what that place did to me but I haven't felt this good in quite some time. I returned to work more upbeat then ever and even my energy levels have gone up.

My apt is all set up, I have two beautiful cats (one of which is sleeping on me now), I've been going out and enjoying myself, I've even found the time to work on ary again. I've finally found a happy medium. I think what's also keeping me going is knowing that katie and I are jumping ship when my lease runs out and I just cannot wait for that. I also have a job interview tomorrow morning. Hopefully that goes well also.

This is going to sound selfish but I think what's helping is that I haven't become preoccupied with worrying about how others are feeling. I've decided to focus on helping myself first. Not that I still wouldn't be there for my friends if I needed them, but I will let them come to me instead of trying to pry into their life bc I feel somethings up.

So for now I'm going to continue to ride the wave that I'm currently on and see where it takes me.

It was a dark and stormy warped....

...that got shut down early as a result too! My last east coast warped tour was yesterday, and it will definitely be one that I will never forget! To start, the ticket said that the show started at 1, which threw me off since they've always begun at 11. It just allowed me to sleep more, which is always nice, except I hit all traffic coming from manchester to my house, and then from my house to the concert, so it took a while.

Once I got there, it was just cloudy, but hot, so I ended up just walking around in my bathing suit top to stay cool. I met up with Regan, Lindsey, and Emily inside, since they got there last night, and hurried over so they could see Anberlin. While over there I noticed the Bouncing Souls tent so went over and bought a PBR style shirt. Also caught a glimpse of Travis from Gym Class Heroes checking out their set on his scooter.

After Anberlin we caught some of Reel Big Fish and then saw Say Anything. After Say Anthing I watched Gym Class Heroes. They opened with "Clothes Off" and then a couple more, including a melody of stuff from their first album and a Lamb of God cover, featuring Travis on a guitar hero guitar. They had to cut their set short (meaning I couldn't hear "the queen and i") because of the lightning. They ushered the everyone into the amphitheatre or to their cars. Emily and I went to the amphitheatre and watched a couple of bands until the rain subsided.

We then all separated because Regan wanted a good spot for Devil Wears Prada, and I wanted to see the Bouncing Souls first. Before that I stopped and got an autograph from Reel Big Fish and then enjoyed Bouncing Souls, who always put on a good show. Lead singer coming into the crowd often to shake hands and get them to sing along.

Because of the rain, some of the sets got delayed, so I didn't miss any of Devil Wears Prada. Very energetic of course and also played their 'still fly' cover from Punk Goes Crunk. After Jeremy came from aruond the gate to greet the fans and then got Daniel for Regan.

Next was Angels and Airwaves, who weren't playing for a little bit, but I wanted a good spot so waited out through Reliant K. Couldn't get right up to the gate, since I was stuck behind girls that didn't even know that Tom was in another band, which pissed me off greatly. Started to see lightning, which got me nervous that they were going to shut down the concert again, causing me to miss the set. It was bad enough I didnt' know they were doing a signing until it was too late. :( Saw Alex from All Time Low on the stage, which I figured since he has a blink tattoo. Opened with "the war" and then "everything's magic." The rain was coming down hard at this point, and they begin to play "it hurts" and then tom says they're shutting down the show so play "the adventure" to finish it off. I'm not quite sure how to describe it, but seeing that song get played live outside at night while you're getting drenched in the rain....hair soaked, shirt dripping...omg....such a rush! I felt high.

So now it's time to go...meaning no Katy Perry, which I was probably not going to see anyway b/c of traffic issues. I just know that I'm jealous because she gets to screw Travis McCoy at the end of the day. I couldn't find my car at first, and the rain was REALLY bad at that point. When I finally did I climbed into the back seat, RUNG OUT my shirt, toweled off and changed into shorts. I then just threw on my hoodie over my bathing suit top, so I was still pretty cold and wet.

Sat in traffic for about an hour, which isn't too bad since I was parked towards the back. But the ride home was a nightmare!!! I couldn't see a thing, so I had to drive 30 mph on 495. At one point lightning struck right by me and the whole sky turned yellow. I swear I saw hell. I hyrdoplaned a couple of times too. Needless to say, I was stresssssed out. It took me about two hours to get to NH. Thankfully I have someone that has my back and I didn't have to drive all the way to my house. I was able to take a hot shower and bring my body temp back up and just get back into comfortable clothes. It's what I needed. Plus the homemade breakfast the next morning is a nice addition too ;)

I was 45 minutes late to work this morning too. I don't want to be here. I'm ready to go to lunch and just tell them I'm taking a personal day. dskdkad!

Future plans

As many of you know, I am moving to San Diego in the fall to pursue my dream of living there, and to get started on using my degree for something. My oringial plan was to arrive on oct. 1 and begin an apprenticeship at a tattoo shop. Then my mom told me about a tattoo school that is in the south that will actually teach you everythign you need to know in two weeks. I checked it out online last week and it seemed like something that I would be into doing. I then found a school in Albany, NY, which is 1.closer 2. cheaper and 3. the class schedule won't throw me off too much. I would head up there the end of september for two weeks and after the course is completed I will know how to set up the equipment AND complete 20 tattoos, have 80 hours of experience credited to me that I can use towards my apprenticeship, and I will be licensed in the state of NY. This will allow me to already have a head start when I apply at shops in San Diego, and can start making a profit out of tattooing, instead of pushing a broom around the shop for a year before someone shows me what to do. The only downside to this is I would be arriving in San Diego around Oct 15, which means my original plan to go out and visit in the beginning of august would be too far from my move-in date. So now I want to fly out at the end of august. I just need to find someone or some people to come with....any takers? This isn't to move...just so I can have someone look at apt with me :)
Yeah, I actually sat there and thought of that title at work. Saw teen sensations Fall Out Boy/Gym Class Hereos/Plain White Ts/Cute is What We Aim For the other night in Lowell with Betsy. Since we were so much older than the others and younger people don't think as much, we cut most of the line and were one of the first to get in, which allowed for us to get to the merch line b4 the rest. We then sat in seats (it was all general admission), which was better b/c that meant we wouldn't have to fight the crowd and we could rest and drink as well.

Yes, drink. Since I was makeing all the purchases (Betsy's 20), by the time I was getting our last drinks, I had 4 different beer stops not IDing me anymore. One of the times that I was getting beer was between CIWWAF and Plain White Ts. In front of me in line? The lead singer of Cute... I got my beer and then followed him, texting Betsy like crazy. He stops in front of the area my seats are in and stands there, and me and Betsy stand next to him. I never have any idea what to say to rockstars, and finally Betsy mustered up the corage to talk to him. She says hi, and he walks right by. Jerk.

It ended up being alight since the Plain White Ts had begun playing. They opeened with Hate, which I had actually forgotten that they sing since I never really got into that song, but the 3rd one was "write you a song" which is one that I LOVE! I was sooo happy that they played it. I didn't like that their set was so short though, I would have liked to have seen them play longer.

Gym Class Heroes began their set with someone coming out ahead of time to sing "Soulja Boy" which I don't know, but Betsy was excited about it. Then they came out and opened with Cupids Chokehold. I enjoyed their set, even though I had never really gotten into them before.

Finally time for Fall Out Boy, and we were both pretty buzzed, which I think helped, b/c the majority of the set consisted of the boys playing a guitar in front of their mics. Opened with Sugar We're Going Down, and then the third song in they played a song that Betsy was hoping to hear (Where is Your Boy Tonight). They played a steady mix of songs from From Under the Cork Tree and Infinity on High, with some from Take This To Your Grave mixed in. There isn't much to report, since nothing too exciting happened. I just had a lot of fun b/c I love rocking out to their music, and doing it with 7200 others is cool. They covered "Mr. Brightside" for their cover portion, and the encore consisted of "Thks Fr Th Mmrs" and "Dance Dance," which I had thought weould have been their last song, but instead it was Dead On Arrival from the first album. I def appreciated that part of the show


So these past few weeks I've been dealing with some issues that I've been having with my current relationship. I haven't talked to anyone about it really, mostly b/c I'm pretty sure that most people are sick of listening to me talk about it. I finally sat down and talked to him about it last week, and of course after 'a talk' in any relationship, the two people tend to get along really well, which is of course what happened. Then last night I asked him if he could give me a ride to my eye doctors appt for the next day at 130. He said he had a meeting at 1030, but would do it if he got back in time. Then he paid me a visit on his way out at work and I asked him again. Then when I got home I took a shower and it was 1 oclock, and still no sign of ross, and I knew he wasn't at the meeting b/c I had to drive by the place on my way and his car wasn't there. I find out that he's actually 25 minutes away driving around his friend and his friend's dad. So we get into this huge fight and I have to reschedule my appt since he basically ditched me. We kinda made up b4 I had to go to the other job, and i figured we could just talk more when i got out of work. I get home, and he's of course not here, so I call and no answer. I've been home for an hour now and now word from him. I'm confused and worried and pissed, since he's mostly likely wasted somewhere. A lot of times lately I really want out, but I just can't muster up the strength to do it

A word of advice...

Don't see Thursday at a venue without a barrier between the stage and the audience. Last night I saw them play at the Palladium upstairs. I was psyched on that at first b/c it meant that I would be right there with the band. Ross and I got there at about 430, and ended up being the 4 person in line. It was really cold, so we went back and forth across the street to the bar, where at one point we got to chat with the drummer of Portugal the Man. Later on, ross ran off with him and ended up hanging with thursday, which pissed me off greatly, since he didn't tell me until afterwards.

Once we were let it, I let myself right up to the front, where I watched Cirlce Takes the Square and Portugal the Man. Then, as soon as Thurday started playing "A workforce drowning" the audience went nuts and we all flew forward. At one point I actually was sitting almost in the middle of the stage. Eventually security moved us all back, but it was still rough, with people crowd surfing and someone stage diving right onto my face.

The audience aside, I thought that Thursday was amazing. They really put a lot of energy into the show, and at one point Geoff came up to me and sang with me on "understanding in a car crash" looking right into my eyes! They sang a good mix of new and old, since this was the tour for their upcoming dvd, so it wasn't to promote a new album or anything. I will definitely see them again though.

After it was over, I wanted to hang around for a bit and chat with the bands, but ross wanted to leave and I did have to work at 5 this morning, so no meet and greets this time

Findings and Hirings

Ross finally came home at midnight last night. Thought Masha was leaving today, so felt bad that he had stayed up in the Plymouth area. Oh well...happy to see that he is alive.

Went and had my job interview at Mobil today...got hired. I start monday at 530 am...yes...me, who loves to sleep, will be working that early in the morning. Good thing there's a Dunks inside.

Comings and Goings

Well it's that time of year again where all of my foreign friends leave to return to their countries, leaving me with nothing to do in this town anymore. Last night was the goodbye party for Masha from Russia, who was here last summer as well. She stopped by while I was working to let me know where it was, and I had driven to work so I could go straigh there, assuming that she would tell ross as well.

Having already loaded some beers in a bag in my car, I headed to the spot to find all the usuals, minus Ross. Masha asked me about him, and we decided to drive to the house, only to find no one there. We just headed back, and were told that the landlord busted the place, so we moved it to my house.

It was cool...people hanging out in the living room dancing and drinking box wine, with the group of smokers hanging outside. The people seemed impressed by the amount of different artwork I had on the wall, so that was cool. Otherwise they mostly just talked to one another in their main language.

At one point I went outside to chat, and Ross' friend tim asked if he could borrow my car tomorrow to give Masha a ride to the bus station in Boston. I said sure, but then he didn't want to drive my car without me, so I was basically forced to go...the problem? We were to leave at 5 in the morning!!!!! Fortunatley everyone left early so I was able to be asleep by 130.

So I am exhausted after getting back at 10 and sleeping for a couple of hours and then workign for 7. Tomorrow is Oana and Iza's last thursday night here, so after work tomorrow I'm headed over to their place to drink and then go to OG's.

**oh, and I still don't know where ross is**

A weekend away from work=an awesome time

So this past weekend was the 'vow renewal' celebration between ashley and joe, something that I had been looking forward to since I got the random text from ashley asking me to be her bridesmade. The wedding itself was at 930 in the morning in epping, with the reception at the sheraton in portsmouth.

Erin and Ash got their nails done while I walked around the fox run mall on friday, followed by a trip to Torrid, where I bought a pair of shoes, and was jealous b/c the clothes there rocked, but couldn't buy any. Thurs night was the rehearsal, and then dinner at an italian place. It twas gooood.

Had to wake up at 6 on saturday to get to the hairdressers. I did my own hair, which mostly consisted of pulling it back neatly to make 'twists' and then pinning the dreads together in a bun, with the red and blond ones crisscrossing each other, and finishing it off by pinning some fake flowers around the bun.

Ashley looked beautiful, and the ceremony went well. Even Lily was good. Traffic getting to portsmouth sucked, but finally got there and it was time to drink! Brought my own stuff, since at one point bought ross a sam adams and I got a stoli with sprite, and it was 10 bucks. The highlight for me was that ross actually slow danced with me, considering he wanted nothign to do with it at Tab's wedding. I also battled it out with Erin to catch the bouquet, and then informed ross that whomever caught the garter would have to put it on MY leg. Needless to say, he caught the garter. It was nice to actually be somewhere in public and it was actually known that we were together!

The reception ended at about 5, and then headed to the hotel rooms to continue to drink and unwine b4 hitting the town for the night. And when that happened, I indeed made my mark by committing thefts of random shit we passed by, and stuff from the restuarant.

Sunday had a 17 dollar buffet at the hotel, and then went home to hang out for a bit b4 heading to boston for the night, where I was treated to a wonderful meal and dessert from Boston's north end.

Hoping to get to Maine this thursday, followed by Projekt Revolution with Betsy on Friday. Bought tickets for that today, and with fucking convience charges, it came to 90 bucks each. Ouch, especially since right before that I bought a ticket to the Almost show for 14 bucks.